Three Billboards is for Stupid People

(Puts on backward baseball cap and quickly turns chair around to sit in, arms resting on its back. #realtalk)


Three Billboards is a horrible piece of shit meant to cynically harness and spoon-feed - no shovel - our nation’s cheapest resentment politics into an atomized populace: a worthless catharsis for oblivious but sniggering idiot libs who wanna blame the Low Folk for the political situation. Three Dildos is a cheap glamour cast by soft-brained Hollywood morons. It’s really a painfully transparent exploitation film, and it’ll eventually go down that way in the history books. 

The characters in the film do not exist, on any level. Even for flat expressionist characters, they are grotesque constructs, written into action and given dialogue based on cultural cliches that should be laughable. But they’re not laughable. It's one of those cultural moments where you find yourself surrounded by your peers, nodding and chuckling under a dumb spell. It’s just so dumb and normal-assed people’s adoration of it is so dumb…that it makes you realize you should never have any faith in a jury of your peers…because apparently they can’t parse a line of pandering bullshit from a story. 

To call Three Billboards (Blah-fuck the rest of the title) “Resistance propaganda” for fed up wine moms to nod righteously at is still somehow a kindness. There’s something darker going on with its authors. It’s a challenge to conjure a film from recent memory I’ve disliked this much. I'd rather watch an honest reactionary film than a string of terrible, out-of-touch woke cliches masquerading as...whatever, I hate the film. It's like the way people saw Zero Dark 30 and didn't realize it's a terrible torture fetishizing propaganda film with the CIA's version of events as its primary source material. If you liked this film you need a re-education camp.